The house is quiet. 2am. It's my turn. I get to do whatever I want without children or husbands or dogs hanging on me and yanking my pants off in the process. There is no one to listen to. No one wants a sandwich or a glass of milk. No one is stranded on the toilet screaming, "SOMEBODY BRING ME SOME TOILET PAPER!"
Ahhhhhh. Bliss.
The pic above was taken when the house wasn't quiet but this is where and how I sit when everyone is sleeping. I wanted to give you an accurate depiction...
So what ever will I do with my time?
I could prank call my siblings. It would be wrong but the thought makes me giggle.
I could cook myself a breakfast midnight feast of bacon, eggs and brownies.
I could do the Lamabada in my laundry room. Sometimes when I'm ironing I totally DO do the Lambada. (I said do-do. ) Seriously though. I dance in my laundry room when no one is looking... and also when people ARE looking. It's kinda sad that I used to spin up and down actual Salsa clubs and dance competitions and now I spin with the spin cycle... Sigh... Growing up makes me sad...
Tonight I have decided to be obsessed with Glenn Beck. I am reading his book entitled An Inconvenient Truth.
Glenn is my new Hero. He used to be a drunk jerk and now he's a MORMON! Yay!
He's an Unlikely Mormon. That's why I dig him so much. Cause even though I was raised in the church I feel like I'm a bit of a Mormon Wild Card. (I know this 'cause I am endlessly offending the perpeteually offended.)
Among a ga-billion other subjects, his book frankly talks about porn and why it's so damaging.
Glenn is a good solid man who loves his wife yet he's brutally honest about sex, women and porn. Mad respect, Glenn!
He says, "I dig chicks, especially hot ones who aren't wearing much in the way of clothing."
He admits to digging chicks yet he refrains from clicking himself "down the rabbit hole" where the basest of man's desires dwell. Ew.
Do you SEE why I like this guy?? No? Oh. Well he went on to say,
"Guys are always talking tough about protecting their mothers and sisters and daughters, but who do you think the women are in IFeelNaughty.com? They're someone's sister, daighter, and yes- even though it's a total buzz kill- often someone's mother."
I'm going to feel very disappointed if any of you click on to IFeelNaughty.com now. I better not find out you did that or we're THROUGH! I lost a follower last night. I'm not afraid to lose another!
Actually, yes I am afraid!! I'm needy and require lots of comments and attention and I don't know if I can handle losing another Psuedo Friend! Just Kidding. You're not psuedo friends! You are real and true friends that I don't even know at all and that post anonymously and then I wonder what you look like and why you're posting anonymously...
I was pretty irritated about last night's incident today, btw.
Glenn also discusses unrealistic body image expecations put on us and our children by Hollywood.
"The average American model is 5'11 and 120 pounds. Slap a size zero dress on a telephone pole, and you start to get a sense of what that's like."
I don't mind sharing that I'm 5'8 and weigh 130lbs.
Oh no! I just realized I'll NEVER BE A SUPER MODEL!!! WAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! I'm so disappointed... I had such high hopes!
Just kidding. I still have high hopes. Don't ever give up on your dreams! Watch out, Tyra! Mormon Mama comin' through! Beep. Beep.
Glenn Beck is hilarious, intelligent and Mormon. Check out his conversion story vid. I'm a fan. The end.
