Friday, October 1, 2010

Annie Smith

My brother has Loved the same woman since they were 14 years old.  Annie.

"I've never been in Love with anyone but Annie," he says often. 

They have two babies and two cats together.  The proof is in the pudding, people.  The proof is in the pudding.  I hate that cliche. What could it mean?  It's a moo point.  You know?  

I'm in Love with Annie too.  Not in a Single White Female sort of way.  More in a If I Could Comb The Entire Earth Searching For the Perfect Woman For My Baby Brother It Would Always Be Annie sort of way.

Annie is Beautiful Blued Eyed Yoga Barbie.  A human pretzle.  She is a Yoga instuctor in her soul.  Whenever I'm in her presence I automatically exhale.  Ahhh... peace be still.

"You're so normal," I say in awe.

She laughs.  "Is that a good thing?"

"YES! I neeeed that!"

She soothes me without a word.

Annie Smith is the perfect name for Annie Smith.  Strong.  Solid.  Sane.  Normal. Annie Smith is normal.

Have you notice how few people are normal in the world anymore?  Everybody is on Zoloft except Annie!  (And me.  I don't take zoloft.  I put rum in my diet coke at 8 am instead.)

Annie is raising my brother's babies to be peaceful little souls.  Baby Audrey of the Gorgeous Chunky Arms makes not a peep in my T-bone's arms. 

Today we celebrated Devon's second birthday. 

We lit his little candle and when it blew out he reverently said,

"More fire."

We lit it again. And laughed and applauded with wild abandon when he extinguished the flame yet again.

And since Devon was finally 2 and now a man, Annie introduced him to one of my favorite musical artists who may or may not be dead... The Magnificent 2pac Shakur, Ladies and Gentlemen!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is a close-up of Devon's T-shirt.

I sat next to Annie and ate a slice of cake filled with Bavarian Cream.  Annie and I love Bavarian Cream Cake.  And she kept asking, "What's the filling in this cake again?"  To which I would intelligently respond, "Bavarian Cream."

"Annie," I said shoveling a mouthful of cake into my mouth and then talking, "You and I have known each other for a long time now.  I think I'm ready to take this relationship to next level.  ...May I feature you on my blog?"

"Yes.  I would love to enjoy the celebrity of gracing the pages of your illustrious blog."

She's really smart and knows big words too.