Saturday, August 7, 2010

Scared Straight

I have a strong hankerin' to scare the HELL outta someone.  I wanna scare a random stranger.  Just jump out from behind the cookie isle at the grocery store and:


It would give me great pleasure to watch another human being convulse in fear because of my evil genius.

I've had this thought all day.  Really tickles my fancy, my know?  Makes me laugh right out loud...

But just jumping out and scaring someone for my own selfish pleasure seems senseless, doesn't it?

There should be a REASON for the scaring.

I stood in line behind an old woman at the convenient store today.  She was purchasing LOTTO TICKETS!

Can you IMAGINE??  A senior citizen blowing her meager monies on LOTTO TIX??

It's simply unbecoming, is what it is.  It's not RESPECTABLE!

I thought to myself,

What if you grabbed that elderly lady by the shoulder and put your face inches from hers and ....RAUGGHHHHHHHHH!?

I'll tell you what.  She would probably NEVER gamble again!

I would have done her a favor!

Where I come from gambling is WRONG and ADDICTIVE and FUN!

We can't just have old people running around and having addictive FUN, can we???

No.  Quite simply: We CAN'T.

 So I say we put an end to the wrecklessness caused by senility.

I say everytime one of us witnesses an elderly man or woman purchasing PICK TICKETS we should shake 'em up a little. Give 'em a run for their money...

Let's make it interesting....