I was sleeping soundly at 6am when they pounced on my very person.
"Please take us roller skating again!"
"Ugh! Nauoghdfkjghkjbjhvb," I said.
"PLEEEAAAASE, MAMA! PLEEEASE!!"
There were two of them. Jumping on my legs and climbing into my brain via nasal cavity.
"Agh... blaihdf OFF," I said.
"YAY!!! THANK YOU, MAMA! WE CAN'T WAIT TO GO SKATING AGAIN TODAY!"
So I found myself at Skate Country for the second time this week.
I was secretly delighted. There is something very compelling about rolling around VERY, VERY FAST IN CIRCLES FOR 3 HOURS. I find it suits my personality.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm pretty stinkin' fast now.
There is a problem, however.
I can't stop. I. CAN'T. STOP!
I get going super duper speedy and the only way I know to stop without actually french kissing the floor is to SLAM UP AGAINST THE WALL! I suppose I would rather french kiss the wall...
Yeah. So here I am roller skating all peacefully to an Owl City ballad. I'm singin' and swayin' and I know that song is totally played-out, but I dig it. I feel sorta zen, ya know?
Then outta no where the self-important, greasy DJ decides to play "BUST A MOVE".
Suddenly I'm outta of control. Suddenly I'm zooming around in circles frantically, singin' at the top of my lungs and dancin' to the funky beat a' the drum.
IF YOU WANT IT, THEN YOU GOT IT! OH! IF YOU WANT IT, BABY YOU GOT IT! OH!
I can hear my children screaming my name, "MMMMMAAAAAAAMMMMAAAAAAA".
Yes. Mama is my actual name, which was given to me at the birth of my first child. It stuck. Feel free to use and abuse it.
I can hear them but I'm goin' so fast and dancin' so hard I CAN'T STOP!
YOU'RE ON A MISSION AND YOU'RE WISHIN' SOMEONE CAN CURE YOUR LONELY CONDITION. LOOKIN' FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES... NO FINE GIRLS JUST UGLY FACES....
In life sometimes I get going so fast I can't stop without slamming into a wall. Blam!
DON'T HANG YOURSELF WITH A CELIBATE ROPE...
The song ended.
I slammed into a wall. BLAM!
The End.
