I've been layin' by the pool at VEGAS Hotel and Casino.
You might think MORMON and VEGAS might be a boring combination... and you would be RIGHT!
I can't entertain you with tales of my own drunken stupor so I'll entertain you with tales of someone ELSE'S drunken stupor.
All day I've pretended not to eavesdrop.
"NURSE! NURSE!" yelled a dude with an impressive, sunburned beer gut. "SHOTS!"
He was yelling at the bikini clad chick who plasters a on a fake smile and delivers drinks with hopes of generous monetary tips from inebriated single dudes with impressive, sunburned beer guts.
"I'VE BEEN DRINKING SINCE EARLY THIS MORNING!" he yelled to no one in particular.
"I'M GONNA BUY DRINKS FOR ALL THE LADIES!" he yelled to no one in particular.
My husband immediatly placed his hand on my behind as if to say, MINE. GRRRRRR.
The drunken dude had buddies. The buddies looked at my husband and said, "Please give us a chance to save him before you kick his ass, Ok?"
My husband and brother-in-law laughed heartily.
Men are weird.
The three of us watched our drunken friend do his worst as he hit on an Asian chick wearing a pink bikini and a wedding ring. He bought her drink after drink, which she accepted with a smile.
Women are weird too.
White dude kept falling over and dumping his drinks in the pool.
At one point he yelled, "SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
In case you are wondering, he did not hook up with the Asian chick. She drank his drinks and then turned her attention to a short Mexican dude.
You win some you lose some... Better luck next time, buddy!
PS My husband's tat says CRYSTAL, which is why I featured this pic. Plus, he looks scary huge...
