So here's the thing. I'm RESTLESS. I was born restless. I can't seem to sit still. Even when I'm sitting still I can't seem to slow down, ya know?
When i was little I used to run away from home ALL THE TIME. I'd just walk out the door. sometimes i'd pack a bag with an apple and fresh underwear. I was like FIVE, people!
The other day I had a heart to heart with my daddy. I was crying ( cause I recentlly became a crybaby). And I was like DADDY! WHY AM I NOT LIKE THE OTHERS?
He was super calm. he just let me rant for awhile.
So i was like I'M NOT ALL GOOD LIKE OTHER MORMON MOMMIES! I'M CRAZY IN MY HEAD! WHY AM I NOT LIKE THEM? I SAY BAD WORDS DAD! AND I DON'T WANNA STOP!
When i was a teen i always felt like I was lying when i was around the good Mormon girls. I mostly behaved myself but i just had a lot of wicked, wild thoughts, ya know? So i wasn't actually lying (but once or twice I stole stuff from the mall but then i put it back because i felt bad... i'm not kidding. and once i smoked pot but i didn't inhale so it doesn't count. jk... sorta...)
I told my daddy some of my deepest, darkest secrets and thoughts. He didn't even look shocked. He was all calm and collected.
He said, "people look up to you, Crys. You have no idea who is watching you. you have a lot of energy."
I was like "WAHHH WELL THEY SHOULDN'T LOOK UP TO ME! I'M A MESS! LOOKING UP TO ME IS A HUUUGE MISTAKE!"
and my nose kept running and i kept wiping my nose with my shirt and i wailed "NOW THIS SHIRT IS GROSS!"
So that's all i have to say to you. just in case you happen to think i'm all good and stuff...DONT. ITS TOO MUCH PRESSURE.
Some women feel fulfilled when they bake banana bread. there is nothing wrong with that. i envy that. bake me a loaf, would ya?
Id like to swim nude in the middle of the ocean and maybe get my leg chewed off so i can write about it.
