Monday, January 11, 2010

Leg Day

Just talking on my banana phone...HELLO?  Bananas have lots of potassium and are super yummy!


I have not been to the gym since mid-October.  I took a cold weather, sleepy cruise along the coast of Canada and came back dazed and confused.  Then the holidays hit and who wants to workout during the holidays?

So today I hit legs HARD!  Walking lunges, leg press, squats, dead lifts, leg curl, calf raises and some serious abs.  AHHHHHHH! I feel like a million bucks! I will not be able to walk tomorrow.  So worth it!  It's like this:

There is one chick in the free weight area.  It's me.  I pull my hat low over my eyes.  Meat heads try to make eye contact.  I'm Queen of ignoring.  Queen of the ignoramouses.  If I look up and a sweaty monkey boy catches my eye I stare right through Mr. Monkey man and look away.  SILLY RABBIT! TRICKS ARE FOR HOOCHIES! I'm here to work.

There is nothing but me, the weight and Biggie Smalls singin in my ear.  Biggie Biggie Biggie oh can't you see?  Sometimes your words just hypnotise me. 

 I can think of nothing but pushing the pounds.  Focus on my breath.  Exhale on exertion.  Muscles burn and ache and scream but I continue to push.  When I can take it no longer I hit two more reps. PUNISH YOUR MACHINE!

I love to punish my machine.  When my muscles scream for mercy I scream back.  YOU GOT THIS!  YOU GOT THIS!

I love imagining my muscles taking shape.  I'm sculpting them with every repetition.  I focus my mind and shut everything else out.  I'm not a mom or a wife or a sister or a daughter.  I'm a machine.  Pain is nothing.

OK.  I'm all done being poetic.  I have been asked by lots and lots of women for help on their diets and excercise programs.  I've decided to add some tips and eat-clean recipes every once in a while to my blog.

Wanna know how much I weigh??  Mmmmk. I'll tell you.  130lbs.  Some people think that's a lot.  In fact, when I confess my weight most women say I'm telling a falsehood to make them feel better.  Nope.  130 lbs.  I've been a hard core weight lifter for almost 5 years.  Muscle is heavy.  Here are a few tips for ya:

First off.  WATER. WATER. WATER.  I always (and I mean ALWAYS) carry a water bottle with me.  I drink probably a gallon and a half every day.  Your body and brain are mostly water.  Beautiful, intelligent people drink lots of H2O.  Stay hydrated. 

Next:  PROTEIN. PROTEIN. PROTEIN. For a gorgeous bod you need gorgeous muscles to shape that bod!  The more muscle you have the faster your metabolism.  IT'S TRUE!  Those muscles of yours are begging to be fed.  Protein helps builds muscle. 

 I drink 2 protein shakes every day.  I generally add bananas or frozen fruit and ice.  I happen to love them.  Protein powder is THE BEST!  I add it to my oatmeal or whole wheat pancakes for breakfast and suddenly I've created a balanced meal.

Every meal should include a portion of lean protein.  I don't want to stress you out but you should be eating 6 small meals a day.  I'll get more specific at a later date.

Last:  Ladies LISTEN UP!  Lifting weights will not bulk you up!  Lifting weights will not make you look like a man!  What it WILL do is give you a nice, round, firm tush and tight legs.  If you lift shoulders (which happens to be my fave)  you will discover a V-taper you never knew you had!  Trust me!

Don't be afraid of the the free weight area!  It's not scary.  I promise.  You wear the weights!  Don't let the weights wear YOU!

If you're a dude and reading this GET THEE TO A GYM!  Chicks are expected to look all hot and tight.  No fair not measuring up.  Lift heavy.  Lift hard.

Ok.  I'll leave it at that for now.