Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Sugar Makes You Ugly (and other stuff)

So there's this older black lady at the gym who HATES me.  She wears a turban and carries a large walking stick.  And she always looks at me like she wants to kill me. 

Once she brought a weight lifting book to the gym and some guys I know were lookin at it.  I was like, "Hey guys, what ya got there?"  and she said,  "DON'T SHOW HER!".  Then she snatched the book from the guys and gave me a nasty look and walked off.  I seriously don't know what I did!

I saw her at the grocery store tonight.  SCARY!

Veggies are pretty.  Pretty people eat veggies because they have anti-oxidants and lots of vitamins.  Radishes are especially good for you.  And these leafy greens are yum and help enhance brain function.  When your fridge is full of whole, clean foods it's pretty.  I think YOU'RE pretty!

I use a lot of extra virgin olive oil and balsalmic vinegar on my salads.  Good fats make your skin glow.  Fat is good and essential as long as its a good fat.  Avacados are BOMB.

Like you shouldn't eat powdered doughnuts because sugar makes you ugly. It really does!  If I don't get a handle on my sweet tooth I'm gonna get real ugly real quick.  Refined sugar literally leeches collagen from the skin which makes it look old and saggy.  Yeah.  Makes ya think twice about that Oreo you were gonna injest, huh? (On the other hand, we're all rotting as we speak so you might as well enjoy the cookie.  You're gonna get ugly eventually.  I hope to die first... I'D RATHER BE DEAD THAN UGLY... you can quote me on that.)

I'm only eating these here to show you what NOT to do.  It was a HUGE sacrifice to eat them.  I didn't enjoy it at all.  I was just takin one for the team.  You're welcome.

After I got a sick stomach from eating a vast amount of mini-doughnuts I sat on the couch to watch TV.  TV watching rots the brain but as I mentioned before we're all rotting anyway.  Doughnuts make me feel yucky and lethargic. 

The kids are all about my blog now and fight over the camera.  "Sing something Mama!  I'll record you!"  SO I SANG SOMETHING.

Then I pulled out my crappy little guitar (I have a better one) and messed around.  And my son put his cowboy hat on my enormous head. 

Then my son wrote his first song.  I'm so proud.  PANTS ON THE GROUND.  He is THE coolest kid ever.  Hilarious!  He's rockin a karate uniform with a bare chest and a cowboy hat.  LOVE IT!