"I would never sleep with HIM," she thought. "Too short."
"Wouldn't give THAT guy the time of day. Too fat," she reasoned.
"And THAT guy is a complete dork!"
She looked closer and realized "THAT guy" was her husband! Whoopsie.
She didn't tell him her train of thought. But she told me. We had a good laugh.
It's really not fair how judgemental we are of one another.
I judge men with chicken legs and large upper bodies.
I fear for them.
How do they manage on those twiggy limbs? I slyly watched a couple of top heavy dumbbell wielding males strutting precariously about the gym today.
"BE CAREFUL!" I shouted. "YOUR LEGS ARE VERY SKINNY AND YOUR UPPER BODY IS ABNORMALLY LARGE! YOU SEEM UNSTABLE! I FEAR YOU MAY TOPPLE AT ANY SECOND!"
The men ignored my warning. They continued to grunt, push pounds and scan the room wildly for eye contact with a member of the opposite sex. ( I covered my eyes when I shouted to avoid eye contact. Men at the gym are easily and obviously confused in the face, in the face of female eye contact.)
One of them was scanning the room so frantically he lost his balance on his boney legs and FELL OVER. TIMMMBBEEERRRR!
I went over to him to help him up.
"See. I told ya so. A few heavy squats and a leg extension will fix you right up!" I said.
Thick, firm thighs on a man are SEXY! Ohhhhh la la! My own personal man has thick muscley legs FOR DAYS! Oh my. Oh boy. Oh. Oh. Goodness gracious. Me oh my.
Is it hot in here or is it just my husband?
As you can see I busted out the lifting gloves today.
I feel like a poser.
But the need to avoid unseemly callouses forces my hand.
What body parts do you admire in the opposite sex? Or even the same sex? Hmmmm? (Aside from the obvious, of course...)
Do you enjoy coming across a small, unassuming ear?
Large eyes?
Bowed Legs?
Cankles?
Tiny feet?
Random Fact:
...serial killer and foot fetishist Jerome Brudos... started off by stalking women, choking them unconscious, and running away with their shoes... Then there is the foot fetishist described by the writer Daniel Bergner- a kind and romantic man who was tormented with powerful involuntary lust. He would become aroused by a surprise glimpse of exposed female feet in the summer, and he tried not to listen to the weather report in the winter because of painful erotic distraction caused by phrases like, "a foot of snow".
~How Pleasure Works by Paul Bloom p.67
I'm not driven to distraction by a massive masculine quad. It's just a mild preference. No fetish here. Don't be ridiculous.
Cross my heart and hope to die... stick a needle in your thigh... I mean EYE. Stick a needle in your EYE.
how embarrassing
