Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Drink the Water Upstream

"I gotta go pee pee!" said Coral's baby Joey.

We had a family picnic today.  There was an outhouse with bees flying in and out of the filth below.

I have no problem with outhouses... or bees.  But the lil ones could not be convinced to use the facility.


"Follow me!" I said benevolently.

A frustrated group of little girls with full bladders followed my lead down the stream.  I found a secluded area and said,

"I will show you how it's done in nature."

And I did.

They shrieked and giggled with delight.  I laughed too.

"I WANNA TRY," they all shouted.

"Me first!"

"No!  Me first!"

"You're FUN, Crystal!"

I taught each one the fine art of squating in the woods.  They accidentally urinated on my bare feet as I held each of the little ones up.  I didn't bat an eye.

I just laughed, "Hey!  Look!  You're peeing on my foot!"

I'm monumentally proud of myself for walking them through this all important milestone.

I have simultaneously scared and scarred them for life and also taught them a valuable lesson.

The valuable lesson is this:

If you decide to urinate with an audience on a mountain by a stream, you may have a bit of performance anxiety.  But if you PERSEVERE you will succeed and the unwanted liquid will flow like a golden shower.