Friday, April 16, 2010


The piano whispered to me last night. Remember me? Come and play!

I’m having a hard day. My heart hurts today. I don’t want to play, I responded.

I folded tiny t-shirts and paired small socks and faced that gleaming piano.

She was insistent. Come and Play.

My music is all in boxes. The only music available in this house is hymns. I’m not in the mood.

Come and Play.

Life is far too difficult at the moment to mess around with music. No thanks.


Ugh! FINE!

I sat at the piano of my childhood. Shiny, black Baby Grand.

I randomly opened the green hymn book before me and played.

My fingers caressed the ivory keys with familiarity.

I sang. My voice began clear and strong,

 Master the tempest is raging the billows are tossing high… no shelter or help is nigh.

My strong voice broke as I sang,

Carest thou not that we perish?

 Tears streamed down my face.

 How canst thou lie asleep when each moment so madly is threatening a grave in the angry deep?

The crecendo of the music and the crecendo of my spirit rose up together in a plea. I felt the pleas of my soul were powerful enough to shake the very gates of heaven.

I played and sang with the passion of one blind and hoping for sight.

 Whether the wrath of the storm tossed sea, or Demons or Men or whatever it be no water can swallow the ship where lies the master of ocean and Earth and skies.

And then slowly the music became piano. Soft and sweet. Calm.

They all shall sweetly obey thy will. Peace be still. Peace be still.

When I finished the hymn I was spent. I hung my head and wept. I prayed.

Lord, this life is far too confusing. I question everything. There is so much suffering and anger in the world. There are earthquakes and orphans.  There are murders and theft.  People lie to one another and feel no guilt. There are children suffering daily. The nature of man is evil. I forever fight the natural woman within. A battle wages constantly. I am exhausted. Lord, I NEED HELP!

What I felt then was one of the warmest experiences of my life. I felt consumed with heat.  I felt consumed with Love.  I felt peace. I felt joy in every cell of my body. I felt the kind of peace and joy that can only be described as Divine.

I played various hymns until the wee hours of the morning. The music soothed my fears. The music healed my troubled heart. The music was LOVE. Pure Love.

I slept like a child.

Today I awoke with an overwhelming feeling of well-being. I understood no one can allow my peace to be destroyed but me.  Peace be still.

I wore a green dress and painted my toe nails green because green is soothing. Green is the color of leaves and nature. Green is the color of the strong stems that support a perfect rose. Green is peace. Peace be still.

I drove around town with a prayer in my heart.

Help me to keep this bliss, Lord. Help me to remain in this state. My heart is broken. I belong to Thee. Help me to be who thou would have me be. Help me to serve my brother.

I came to the intersection at Tanque Verde and Bear Canyon. A homeless man stood with a mangled cardboard sign that read:


My jaw dropped. I studied this man. I took in his ragged clothes and wild hair. I noticed his weather-worn face. I just stared.

I then pulled $5 out of my wallet. $5 is a lot! I thought. Where much is given much is required.

I rolled down my window and handed the man the money. I really looked at his face. Sadness and hopelessness were written there. Our eyes locked for a moment. His eyes were beautiful. GREEN.

“God Bless You,” he said.

“And May God Bless You, Sir,” I responded.

I prayed again. But this time it was not for myself.

Lord, please bless this man. I do not know where he has been. I do not know what he has done. I do not know how he has been treated. Bless this brother of mine with those things thou knowest he needs.

felt it again more strongly than ever. PEACE. PEACE BE STILL.