Sunday, November 22, 2009

Zoom A zoom zoom

At midnight last night I found myself heading down I-10 in the wrong direction in a black silk dress with a sugar waffer stickin outta my mouth like a cigar. Pussy Cat Dolls blared from my stereo. Yo baby! Yo baby! Sing! "When I grow up I wanna be a star...".


Lori, Dani and I went to see Phantom of the Opera in Phoenix. The show was stellar. I was consumed by the music of the night.

After the show as we walked back to our car with a large group of friends. I belted out, "Think of me. Think of me fondly...". (I have that singing tick, ya know.)

One girl turned to me and said, "oh, are you a singer?"

"Well I..."

Lori responded for me. "Yeah. She sings Santa Baby every Christmas. Don't you, Crystal? HAHAHAHAHA! She wears a Santa hat and shakes her hips and lays on top of the piano. HAHAHAHA!"

I DO NOT lay on the piano! But I must sheepishly admit the rest is true. I was asked to sing a song for a Christmas party one year. Santa Baby. I became a legend in the greater Tucson area. I just couldn't say no to all subsequent invitations. Embarrassing.

I have known Lori since I was a snot-nosed kid. She knows lots of embarrassing things about me. Whenever we hang out she loves to share those stories with everyone in the vicinity. For instance:

"In college Crystal used to wear this tight baby Tee that said ZOOM in big sparkly letters across her chest. All the guys called her ZOOM after that. She's got a nice rack. HAHAHAHAHA! Right, Zoom?"


"Remember when I had a huge crush on Mila Fanua and he kissed YOU? And you got really mad at him? I wish he had kissed me!"

Do you have a friend like Lori? I enjoy her company because she constantly makes fun of me. I love it! Usually in a social environment I'm the center of attention because I'm loud and wild. But when Lori is around I can sit back and laugh at myself. I let her entertain me by clowning on... me.

Last night Lori said a few things that made me laugh or blush... or both.

"Hey everyone! Watch those guys checking Crystal out! She's totally oblivious. HAHAHAHA! They are falling all over themselves and she totally ignores them! I love to sit back and watch this!!" *ugh blush*

"Crystal's getting her second wind. She acts like a drunk after 10 pm. Just do your thing, Zoom." *laugh*

She doesn't take me seriously but she doesn't take herself seriously either.

Lori: "Crystal was always the hot one and I was always the funny one with personality." *blush and laugh*

Me: "Hey! I'm funny!"

Lori: "Um... yeah, ok... keep telling yourself that...".

When Lori and I hang out we are completely obnxious. We laugh loud and hard. We laugh at everyone and everything. Nothing is safe from ridicule. Not even you.

Last night we shared a huge bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos (I LOVE those!) and some Sugar waffers. We car danced. When we were done my silk dress was covered in multi-colored crumbs and my face hurt from laughing.

I told her I had written a blog entitled "Puss in Boots".

"That is SO YOU!" she said.

It's cool when you have a friend that can say that. That is SO you. It means they get what you dig, ya dig?

I'm a crappy friend to Lori. I rarely return phone calls, never check e-vites and only return half of my e-mails. For some strange reason she thinks I'm worth the trouble anyway. I continue to play hard to get and she continues to keep our friendship alive.

Thanks girl! Don't give up on me!!!!