Thursday, November 12, 2009

Conversation Capital

So guess what??!! Something super exciting happened to me today! I FAINTED!!!!

I'll give you the play by play. I know you're all dying for details.

I've been suffering from a little virus as of late. Food cannot entice me. I've tried all my faves including chocolate cake and chicken wings. Just can't choke 'em down. So I've thought to myself. Well. Self. The Holidays are coming up and you always tend to pork up a bit. Losin a few pounds preemptively might not be a bad idea.

I actually haven't minded I can see a few more ribs than normal. No big deal.

So this morning I'm getting getting ready to hop in the shower. I'm admiring my newly exposed ribs and suddenly my stomach churns like a cave full of startled bats. The room gets very hazy and BLAM!! Next thing I know I'm face down on the bathroom floor.

Everytime I try to open my eyes the room spins wildly out of control. I lay there in a cold sweat for quite sometime. I finally try to lift my head and discover I am lying in a small puddle of my own blood. Brilliantly, I have managed to smash my face against the corner of the cabinet.

Eventually I am able to crawl to my phone and call my husband for an emergency grilled cheese sandwich.

Now that you know the facts I'll tell you how truly messed up my head is. Ready? After I came to and the world was still a whirlwind of shapes and colors I thought, "Cool. I can write about this." I couldn't even lift my head up yet! I can write about this?! Lunacy.

I'd like to introduce you to a concept called Conversation Capital. (There is an entire book about it but I have no interest in reading so my definition may vary.) Conversation Capital is anything that people are interested in talking about. If you have something cool to tell your peeps in Conversation it is Capital. Got it?

For instance, tomorrow is my book group and when I'm asked why my face is defaced I can sorrowfully respond, "I fainted yesterday." But I secretly won't be sorrowful at all! I'm actually very pleased something so noteworthy had occured. I have conversation capital! Then everyone will ooo and ahhhhhh and click their tongues. Then it's someone else's turn to offer their Capital. (But I'm pretty sure it won't be nearly so cool as what I brought to the table...)It's kinda like show and tell.

Some people travel to distant lands and acquire multiple academic degrees in order to feel they have adequate conversational capital. I have no need for such a pompous and excessive show. Not me! Give me a black eye or a fractured knee-cap any day! Capital idea. Jolly good. Cheerio.